Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts

Thursday, May 31, 2018

Can a Boss Take Corrections From Subordinates?

We were asked, "can a boss take corrections from subordinates?"

Certainly, some bosses can, but there are ways you can increase the chances of changing your boss, or at least your boss's mind.

I think that if the subordinate offers “corrections,” the leader is less likely to respond less well than if the offer is for “information.” That principle actually goes both ways. Most people are somewhat reluctant to take “corrections.”

So, if you are asking how you, as the underling, can “correct” your boss, I suggest you learn how to offer (not “give”) information. The boss can then decide whether or not to act on this new information, and how to do it. 

Again, this goes both ways. Leaders do better offering information than correction.


What Did You Say?: The Art of Giving and Receiving Feedback Revised Second Edition

So, study the feedback process and become proficient. That will be your best chance, but be prepared for failure. Some people simply will not change, even if banged on the head with a two-by-four.

If your boss happens to be one of those frozen people, it will be up to you to do the changing.

Maybe change your behavior. 

Maybe change jobs.






Thursday, April 19, 2018

Life hacks for introverts?

I was asked, "What are the best life hacks for extremely introverted people?"

Call it a hack if you like, but what helped me most in being an introvert is realizing that we (in the USA, at least) live in a society that (mistakenly) believes there’s something wrong with being an introvert.

Here’s a typical example. In Olympic diving, Greg Louganis won 4 gold medals. As he emerged from the pool after winning his fourth, the TV announcer said something like, “Isn’t that amazing. And he’s an introvert!” As if introversion somehow cripples a person so he cannot dive.

Electroencephalographi studies have shown that introversion is a physical characteristic, so introverts can be identified by their brain waves. So, if you’re an introvert, you might as well accept it. If you don't accept your introversion as being just fine, then you're like a person who thinks there’s something wrong with their genetic skin color, just because they live in a prejudiced culture.

You do live in a prejudiced culture—prejudiced against introversion— but you don’t have to internalize that (or any) societal prejudice.

Don’t listen to people who advise you how to change, unless you want to change. And, then, if you want to change your behavior in some way, try some of their “hacks.”

Take me, for example. I'm a strong, strong introvert, but my training and consulting business required me to be out interacting with lots and lots of people. Few of them suspected my introvert side because I concentrated on my people-loving side whenever I was with others. My introversion was temporarily put on the back-burner, to be brought out again when I found the opportunity to be alone.

So, if you're like me, you could try my "hack" and see how it works for you. Just don’t be down on yourself if someone else's hacks don’t work the way you wanted


You can do whatever you want, whether you’re an introvert or an extravert. Remember, personality is not destiny.


Monday, March 26, 2018

March Madness or December Dementia

Every March, the USA goes wild with something called "March Madness," a pair of college basketball tournaments. The format of the tournaments is called "single elimination," which means that candidate teams are dropped out of the tournament when they lose. Eventually, one team remains, and they are the "winners."

So, what is the overall effect of this type of tournament? The men's tournament starts with 64 of the best teams in the nation, and when all is done, 63 of them have become "losers." No matter how good their season's record may have been, they ended that season with a loss—something to remain on their minds until next year.

I enjoy watching March Madness, but I think it could be improved. At least, there could be another tournament with a much more satisfactory result. Here's how it would go:

First, we choose the 64 worst teams of the season. Then we pair them off to play one another. The winner of each game is dropped out of the tournament, and the losers are paired for the next round. 

This elimination of winners is continued until only one team remains. They are the winners of the tournament. And, notice, that every other team has ended their season with a victory. Doesn't that feel much better?

Now perhaps this sounds like a stupid idea, but in fact it's extremely popular in the business world. Managers devise award systems that select one or a few individuals (rarely teams) as "winners." In doing so, they have managed to make everyone else feel like "losers."

I guess the theory is the these "losers" will be motivated to work harder or smarter for the next award cycle, and I suppose that sometimes that happens. What I've seen, however, is quite the opposite. Most people respond to "losing" by losing their motivation in the next round.


I've noticed that many of these management awards are given at the end of each year. Maybe a few smart managers could come up with not a March Madness but a December Dementia system that would positively motivate all their employees.

www.geraldmweinberg.com

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

How Does One Manage an Incompetent Manager?

How Does One Manage an Incompetent Manager?

The questioner does not say whether the manager's is their boss or employee, but I'll answer assuming they're the employee. If they're the boss, they should manage the same way they would manage any of their employees who is not competent to do the job they're paid for.

This is not just one question because there are quite a few different breeds of incompetent managers. To take just two examples, some are incompetent because they don’t interact with their employees at all, while others micromanage with a vengeance. It seems clear that you’d want to handle each situation in its own unique way.

If your manager is invisible, leaving you alone, just be thankful and go about your business. Believe me, you’re lucky.

For me, the first step in managing a micro-manager is to leave. Find another job, with different manager. A better one.

As for other managerial symptoms of incompetence, you can try working with the manager as one person to another, but realize that this amounts to taking on a second job. If you’re not a a trained psychologist, you might be better just leaving this one alone.

But if you decide you have the skills to manage your manager, do it the way a competent manager would. That is, concentrate on the question, “How is this manager interfering with the work we are being paid to do?” If their incompetence isn’t interfering in a significant way, maybe offer a bit of feedback, but only once, and then get on with your paying job.

In many cases, someone you perceive as incompetent can be a lot easier to live with than to fix. They may not even be as incompetent as you believe.

But if you're seeking advice on a particular pattern of incompetence, write me a note or comment. I will try to help you with specific actions to take.

Oh, and by the way, if you’re neither this manager’s boss or employee, then it’s none of your business, so just leave it alone. There are more incompetent managers in the world than you can possibly cure.

Here's a couple of books you might find helpful:







Sunday, August 27, 2017

Am I Boring, and What Can I Do About It?

I was asked, "Am I boring, and what can I do about it?"

The questioner explained, "Everything I have to say seems boring or unimportant. When I talk about my feelings it seems like I'm complaining or too complicated for others to understand. I don't feel like talking to anyone anymore. What should I do?"

I’ve heard this complaint many times, and much of the time, the person’s problem is not talking, but listening.

I advised him to devote some attention to what the others are saying to him and around him. Often they are trying to tell him why they seem bored, but he's not paying attention (which is a common symptom of “boring” people).

So I had him work on his listening for while and see what happened. He discovered some startling changes.

If you think you're boring people, maybe you’ll want to read


p.s. BTW, his question itself seems like he's complaining, and it may be too complicated for others to understand. As an exercise in learning to be less boring, try rewriting it so it’s not complaining and far less complicated.

Sunday, July 23, 2017

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Why You’re Stuck - Derek Doepker derekdoepker.com
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Don’t Be Your Own Worst Enemy - Self-Care for Busy People - Neil Thompson neilthompson.info
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Quit Your Job And Live - A Beginners Guide to Building a Location Free Income & Travel Hacking Your Way Around the World - Adrian Landsberg thelifestylecompound.com
How I Became Productive -12 Proven Factors to Productivity - Abder-Rahman Ali abder.io
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The ​Mindful ​Walker - Rediscovering the Simple Path to a Healthier, Happier, More Peaceful Life - Alex Strauss themindfulwalker.com
Powerful Confidence - Annalie Coetzer lifesuccessblog.com
Paths to Wholeness: Fifty-Two Flower Mandalas - David J. Bookbinder transformationspress.org
Better Running Goals - Diana Fitts betterthanalive.com
Build Your Laptop Lifestyle - 10 Issues - Agnes Bogardi agnesbogardi.com
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Get Your Creative Projects Finished Now! - Eric Maisel ericmaisel.com
Take Your Power Back - Healing Lessons, Tips, and Tools for Abuse Survivors - Evelyn M. Ryan yourlifelifter.com
At the Core of Every Heart: Reflections, Insights, and Practices for Waking Up and Living Free - Dr. Gail Brenner gailbrenner.com
Are Your Lights On? - Gerald M. Weinberg geraldmweinberg.com
What Did You Say? The Art of Giving and Receiving Feedback - Gerald M. Weinberg geraldmweinberg.com
The Millionaire Mentor - Unlocking the Secrets of Wealth Greg S. Reid gregreid.com
Her Blood is Gold: Awakening to the Wisdom of Menstruation - Ian Thorp archivepublishing.co.uk
Parallel Worlds: A Transpersonal Autobiobraphy - Ian Thorp archivepublishing.co.uk
The Dream of the Cosmos: a Quest for the Soul - Ian Thorp ianthorp.co.uk
What Next? - Diana Fitts betterthanalive.com
50 Steps to Freedom A Personal Journey from Depression to Joy - Stephen Connor stephenconnor.org
Alchemy: The Art of Transformation - Ian Thorp ianthorp.co.uk
How To Give a Shit About Your Health - Karina Inkster karinainkster.com
21 Days to a Happy Clutter Free Life - Lauren Bromberg sunshineyouniversity.com
I, Mammal: How to Make Peace With the Animal Urge for Social Power - Loretta G. Breuning, PhD innermammalinstitute.org
Letting Go of Difficult Emotions - Lori Deschene tinybuddha.com
The Rainbow Way - Lucy H. Pearce lucyhpearce.com
The Impact of the Human Stress Response - The Biologic Origins of Human Stress - Mary Wingo, Ph.D. marywingo.com​​
The Ten-Year Turnaround: Transform Your Personal Finances and Achieve Financial Freedom in The Next Ten Years - Matthew Paulson mattpaulson.com
Long Term Person, Short Term World: How to Manage Time, Tasks, and Texts: Methods for Living an Ambitious, Authentic, Unapologetic Life: Goal Management and Personal Productivity in the Modern World - Michael Motta mjmottajr.com
Inspiration is a Habit - Turn Your Purpose Into a Profession - James McCrae shityouregosays.com
The Fountain of Youth is Just A Breath Away: Breathing Exercises For Relaxation, Health And Vitality - Molly Larkin mollylarkin.com
Procrastination - Putting Things Off and How to Stop Doing It - Neil Thompson neilthompson.info
The Secrets of Consulting - Gerald M. Weinberg geraldmweinberg.com
What Lies Within You - Molly Larkin mollylarkin.com
The Tree of Life: Talks by Buntie Will - Ian Thorp ianthorp.co.uk
Active Listening - How to Communicate Better - Neil Thompson neilthompson.info
Effective Writing - Neil Thompson neilthompson.info
Job Interviews - Giving Yourself the Best Chance - Neil Thompson neilthompson.info
The Morning Book; Daily Rituals For Sacred Living - Molly Larkin mollylarkin.com
Stress Matters Keeping Stress at Bay - Neil Thompson neilthompson.info
Tackling Bullying and Harassment Developing Dignity at Work - Neil Thompson neilthompson.info
Just Tell Me What I Want - Sara Kravitz sarakravitz.com
Getting a Grip on Time - Productivity and Life Balance Made Easy - Robyn Pearce gettingagrip.com
Self-Love - Stephen Connor stephenconnor.org
Weinberg on Writing - Gerald M. Weinberg geraldmweinberg.com
The Reluctant Messenger - Stephen Connor stephenconnor.org
What is Your What? - Steve Olsher steveolsher.com
Wake Up Call - Thibaut Meurisse WhatisPersonalDevelopment.org
Online Business Productivity - Timo Kiander PracticalBliss.com
Agile Project Management For Busy Managers - Tony Riches tonyriches.com
Tackling Low Self-esteem Building Confidence and Self-Respect - Neil Thompson neilthompson.info
Get Your Money Where Your Mouth Is - David R. Portney kallistipublishing.com
People Centricity: The Incredible Power of Putting Other People First - Stephen Hewett kallistipublishing.com
About Time - 120 Tips for Those with No Time - Robyn Pearce gettingagrip.com
I Believe Therefore I Am - Claire McGee kallistipublishing.com
Running For My Life: From Zero to Ultramarathoner - Dragos Roua dragosroua.com
The Millionaire's Message - Bryan James kallistipublishing.com
Effective Teamwork- How to Develop a Successful Team - Neil Thompson neilthompson.info
You Can Move Mountains - J.F. Straw kallistipublishing.com
Love is the answer: A Guide to Awakening the Heart and Stepping into True Authenticity - Zoe Davenport zoedavenport.co.uk
Personal Growth Bundle - Annalie Coetzer lifesuccessblog.com
Exploit Yourself: A Master Class in Personal Networking Techniques - Bruce Wade em-solutions.co.za
Vision to Reality - How Short Term Massive Action Equals Maximum Results - Honoree Corder honoreecorder.com
Personal Productivity For Busy Managers - Tony Riches tonyriches.com
Turning Imagination into Results - Strategies to Elevate Your LIfe and Career - James McCrae shityouregosays.com
Simplify - 7 Guiding Principles to Help Anyone Declutter Their Home and Life - Joshua Becker becomingminimalist.com
Dear God How Can I Heal So That I May Love - Margaret Paul innerbonding.com
Shut Up and Write - The No-Nonsense, No B.S. Guide to Getting Words On the Page - Mridu Khullar Relph theinternationalfreelancer.com
Write Your Way Out Of Depression: Practical Self-Therapy For Creative Writers. - Rayne Hall raynehall.com
Tick-Tack - The Story of Your Time - How to Tame TIME and Make Him Your Ally! - Alina Margineanu alinamargineanu.com
Jack and the Team that Couldn't See - Tony Wilson performancelab.com.au
The Lunatic Gene - How to Make Sense of Your Life - Adam Shaw adamshaw.co
Getting a Grip on Leadership - How to Learn Leadership Without Making All the Mistakes Yourself - Robyn Pearce gettingagrip.com
Sleep and Sleep Disorders - A Brief Introduction - Neil Thompson neilthompson.info
Getting a Grip on The Paper War - Managing Information in the Modern Office - Robyn Pearce gettingagrip.com
Working With Todoist - Get Started with Todoist so You Can Get Better Organized and Achieve Greater Productivity - Carl Pullein carlpullein.com
Your Digital Life - Everything You Need to Know to Get Your Life Organised and Put Technology to Work for You - Carl Pullein carlpullein.com

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